Torture.

I was very young when I first learned what that word means. I learned that in some places in the world, people suffer hideously and that police forces and governments are allowed to do gruesome and inhuman things.

Still it remained something that was unthinkable. Something that happened far away to other people. Something that I could try to speak against and work to end through activism and letter writing. But not something that could happen to me.

I am Canadian. I am safe.

Well that is not true. If it was ever true, it isn't true now.

Maher Arar is Canadian. But that didn't save him. Quite the opposite. It was precisely Canadian institutions that were in part responsible for him being in that dank cell and suffering that horrific torture.

And I know now that it could just as easily have been me in that cell.

And I know that I am not the only Canadian who feels that way. Muslim Canadians, Arab Canadians, South Asian Canadians, any one whose Canadian passport says that her or his place of birth is outside Canada, feels this fear. Is living with this fear.

That has been the chilling affect of Maher Arar's experience and of all of the "security" legislation. It has created a climate of fear and intimidation. And as a result many of us feel that the best we can do is to keep our heads down and not make waves. Because we are all suspects.

I guess the idea is that the rest of Canada is meant to be comforted by these measures. Is it working yet? Tell me do you feel safer now?

This is not an issue that just affects the Muslim community or communities of colour. This is about all of us.

This is not just about what happened to Maher Arar, it is not just about the fear that I, and others, have to live with. This is about what kind of society we want. They want us to be divided into us and them. The real Canadians and the not so real Canadians. But the truth is that this is about all of us.

This is about what kind, if any at all, democracy we are going to have.

It is not just about Maher Arar, it is about whether the RCMP or CSIS are subject to our democracy or above it.

And this is not about Syria or the despotic regime that runs Syrian torture prisons. Because my government is not in Damascus. My government is in Ottawa.

This is about the Canadian government and its responsibility to all of us. This is about whether we are going to have an equality of citizenship in Canada or an unequal tiered system of citizenship.

This is not just about whether I or others can travel to the U.S. or not, this is about where America ends and where Canada begins.

They tell us that this won't happen again because the American officials will be sure to "consult" with Canadian officials. And that since they "understand" eachother there is no need to get it formalized into a treaty or a law or anything like that. No we can just trust them. Sorry, is that meant to reassuring? Because it's not working.

I like many other Canadians in the Muslim community and in communities of colour have been visited by csis. And I can't begin to explain what its like to not even know how much power they have to interfere in my life. To not know whether every phone call or email is being overseen. To not be sure what will happen next.

But I refuse to have my life be criminalized. I refuse to be silent and give in. I refuse to be made to feel that I am an unwanted guest in my own home. I refuse to accept that activism and dissent are luxuries that I am not allowed because I was born in Pakistan and not Penticton.

Together we need to remain united, and fight this. We need to be clear that we will not live our lives and construct our society on fear. We need to be clear that we will not let our rights disappear into the night. We need to be clear that there are no acceptable tragedies. We need to be clear that it is not ok that the odd Muslim gets hauled off, detained and tortured. We need to be clear that that makes us all unsafe.

And we need to be clear that civil rights are not for the lucky few. We need to be clear that unless we all have them, none of us has them.

And the first step is a public inquiry. Before we can fight this we need to know the nature of the beast we are dealing with.

Thank you.

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